Blueberries, You Taunt Me So

5 pounds. That’s all I’m asking for to mysteriously disappear from my body.  Since wishing hasn’t work, I’ve realized that it may be up to me.

I’ve read the other blogs that say things like “10 Things You Can Do to Lose 10 Pounds.” I get so excited because I just want to drop 5 pounds, so surely I’ll need to do only a few things from the list.

These lists are never helpful to me. NEVER, EVER.

Here’s an example list:

  1. Stop drinking soda. I have maybe 2 sodas a year, so that probably isn’t going to work.
  2. Eat only half of a bagel or sandwich. I already do this.
  3. Eat salad with your sandwich instead of french fries. I already do this. Usually I forego the sandwich completely and just have the salad. Next suggestion, please.
  4. Exercise regularly. I do this 5-6 times a week for 30-45 minutes.
  5. Eat small meals. Do this already.
  6. Don’t be an emotional eater. I’m not.  When I’m emotional, the last thing I want to do is eat.
  7. Drink plenty of water. If I drink any more water, I’ll turn into a puddle.
  8. Eat fresh fruit instead of drinking fruit juice. I already do this.
  9. Eat more fiber. Eating more fiber than I do will cause me to spend too much time in the bathroom.
  10. If you’re craving chocolate, eat 3 M&Ms instead of a whole bag. Now this one is just crazy. Please be realistic. I’m not a huge fan of M&Ms, but eating 3 at a time is impossible even for me. Eating half a bag I can do. But since I don’t do that every day or even every week, even that should not add not up to 10 pounds.

Here’s my new plan. Apparently, fresh blueberries are very nutritious, including being high in antioxidants. My initial thought was “Score! I love blueberries! Weight loss here I come!”

Here’s how I plan on incorporating them into my diet/meal plan:

  1. Breakfast:  Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats
  2. Midmorning snack: Blueberry Muffin Pop Tart and an orange
  3. Lunch: Broccoli and a blueberry muffin
  4. Midafternoon snack: Blueberry Fiber One yogurt and an apple
  5. Dinner: Salad and half a baked potato (A blueberry-free meal!)
  6. Dessert: Kid’s size Blueberry Muffin in the Morning Ice Cream from Maggie Moos
  7. Nightcap: Blueberry Margarita

Look at all the blueberries I ate! Surely I’ll drop five pounds by the end of the week!

Or maybe not. Although I love blueberry flavors and love blueberries in other things,  I don’t really care for fresh blueberries by themselves.

When, oh when, will they discover the nutritional benefits of cupcakes or cookies? Although I can’t do raw blueberries, I love raw cookie dough.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

12 responses to “Blueberries, You Taunt Me So

  • firekeeper30

    I also can’t do raw blueberries, yet I love them in everything else.

  • phatpast

    Continue to drink water. If you want to lose the 5 lbs, drink half your weight in water every day.

    IMO, you should skip the potato, the muffin, the ice cream, and the pop tart.

    Good luck to you.

    • thoughtsappear

      Unfortunately, I think I drink more than half my weight in water every day. =(

      I do usually skip the ice cream and the pop tart. I was just on a roll with blueberry flavored things.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  • pinklove9

    You can also try a handful of almonds in the morning. It helps kick-start your metabolism, and keeps it up all day 🙂

  • redriverpak

    Homemade Liposuction. I got a sharp knife, hooked an attachment on to our Hoover, stuffed a rag in my mouth to stifle my screams, and then started slicing and vaccuming…..

    I didn’t actually lose any weight from loss of fat….but all the blood loss helped me drop a few pounds real quick!

  • Emily Josephine

    Lists are the best/worst things in the world… they are great for organizing but horrible when we start imposing a list on our lives as law. I think it’s better to take a more holistic approach to getting healthy. It’s not a formula that can be summed up in an easy list.

    haha, my sister used to make fun of me for being blueberry obsessed!

  • izziedarling

    You have organized yourself so well – the only thing problematic I see re: blueberries/5 lbs. is that if you eat that many, you will be #9 on your first list. But you will probably lose the 5lbs. in one day. just sayin’ 🙂

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