An Acronym to Help Stupid Boys

Dear Stupid Boys,

By “Stupid Boys” I mean all men because you’ve all done something at some point to make a woman somewhere think you are stupid. Even the best ones have committed at least one stupid act.

I’ve compiled a few tips for you.

Be on Time: You have 15-minute window. Because I’m in the DC metro area, I understand traffic is horrible and sometimes unpredictable. Call me to let me know you’ll be late. DO NOT make me wait on you. I will find something else to do just out of spite.

Gifts: It’s nice to receive gifts for no reason. Even if it’s a cutesy little thing you paid $5 for. Do not try this on special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays. Flowers are nice occasionally. I (maybe not all women) prefer getting just one to a whole bouquet.

Language: Usually I’m pretty straight forward with my language, but I have one exception. “Fine” usually does not mean “fine.” It might mean you-are-in-big-trouble-and-you-know-what-you-did-and-you-need-to-start-making-it-up-to-me-right-now. Sometimes it means you-are-in-big-trouble-and-we-can’t-talk-about-it-now-but-you’ll-hear-from-me-later.

All-in: I’m ALL-IN in relationships. If you don’t feel the same way, you’d better let me know.

Dessert: Share dessert with me. But understand that sometimes I’ll want my own and then half of your dessert as well.

Say It, Mean It: When you say you’re going to do something, follow through. Not following through disappoints me. And that makes me sad. And when making me sad is not good…for either one of us.

I’ve created an acronym and sentence to help you remember: BGLADS. Be Good, Loving, And Don’t Screw up!

That’s it. The list is subject to additions as I see fit.

About thoughtsappear

I eat lots of sugar. It's the only way to keep up with my new baby and to outrun zombies. View all posts by thoughtsappear

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