C-Day. If this wasn’t in the Ewww category, you might have thought I meant “Candy” or “Chocolate” or “Cupcake.” I wish every day was cupcake day.
Alas, C-Day stands for Colonoscopy day. And that day is rapidly approaching.
Everyone says the prep is the worst. Probably because you’re asleep for the procedures, so what does that leave really? Only the beginning and the end.
- I have to go a whole day without chocolate. Accomplishing this will be a feat in itself. A year ago I went a day without chocolate. Ask Kiefer Sutherland. It was a horrible day…for both of us. Constant crankiness.
- I have to drink Gatorade mixed with something gross tasting. I don’t even like Gatorade.
- I get an IV. I hate needles.
- I won’t remember the procedure itself because I’ll be knocked out. The last time I had anesthesia was when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up in the middle of it. That had better not happen with my colonoscopy.
- After my wisdom teeth were pulled and I woke up, I puked. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen again.
- I was still pretty loopy when they released me. I sang “12 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” and told my parents how I nearly missed a final exam due to oversleeping. Hopefully confessions won’t happen again either.
I think the beginning will definitely be worse.
Any tips would be appreciated. I’ve already been told to tell them I’m a bad stick, that I may pass out upon seeing the needle, that I tend to get sick after anesthesia, and…OH MY GOD I forgot the fourth thing….