There’s Bacon in My Dessert

You know it’s going to be a good day when you wake up to see any of the following:

• You haven’t overslept.
• Your cat fed itself.
• You’ve won the lottery.
• Your roommates actually cleaned up the pizza box and half eaten slices instead of leaving them sit out all night. (I have a better chance of winning the lottery….)
• Your blog is Freshly Pressed.
• It’s not the zombie apocalypse…yet.
• Yogi Castle, the greatest frozen yogurt place ever, is following you on Twitter.

That’s right: Yogi Castle is following ME on Twitter. Someone there knows all about the Yogi Castle Chronicles.

So every night for the rest of my life one night this week I’ll be celebrating with Yogi Castle’s new flavor:

Okay…so maybe I already celebrated.

Mounds Yogurt, Coconut, Cookie Dough, and Caramel and Vanilla Syrups

And for you weirdos freaks other people who like bacon in your dessert, there’s something for you, too.

Non-Fat Bay-con

—

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What the hell are Peeps??? I’m Australian, so please use words like “beer” or “ale” and also “lager” to describe the treat.”—Captain Sweatpants

So many of the comments on the last post were hilarious. Also check out Ellie Ann’s, and Laurie’s, Queen Gen’s, and Vesta Vayne’s comment thread, which starts here.

Vodka? Check.

Doomsday and Disaster Preppers said people should have enough food, water, and supplies to last 3 days.

For me, that means…

I am totally unprepared for any disaster…even especially zombies.

I’m supposed to have canned food. Does cat food count?

I’m supposed to have bottled water. Instead, I have vodka.

I’m collecting flavored vodka.

At least I have some first aid supplies. And by “first aid,” I mean band aids…Hello Kitty band-aids.

I Spy With My Little Eye

…a Thundercats car! Thundercats, hoooooooooo! I sent the picture to Misty if you want to see it. There’s also a zombie hearse and a SheGoat car. Seriously.

You may or may not have noticed new stuff on the blog this week.

Don’t feel bad if you didn’t notice. I’m the least observant person ever.

This happens all the time:

Thoughtsy: Oh my gosh…how long has that massive building been there?

Answer: Like 3 years.

However, this also happens:

Thoughtsy: Oh my gosh, a new ice cream shop! How long has that been there?

Answer: They just started construction this morning.

What can I say? I have selective vision. And priorities.

So…back to the changes.

First, I’m on Twitter now. You can follow me by clicking the button near the top of the right column.

Second, you leave the best comments, and I want to give you props.

I’ll post a favorite comment from the previous day’s post at the bottom of the next post…when I remember. I went back and added some to the posts this week. Thanks, Oh Noa, for the idea!

Favorite Comment from Previous Post: “Love, love, love this movie. Especially that one part and the other part and pretty much all the parts.”—Clay Baboons

You Think You Know the Story

What do zombies, stoners, and unicorns have in common? They’re all in the movie The Cabin in the Woods.

Here’s the plot: Five friends go to a cabin in the woods. Bad things happen. And then…

What do you think happens next? Well…you’re wrong.

Unless you were thinking, Someone uses a coffee mug bong to kill the bad guys. Then you’re right.

The Cabin in the Woods is not just a horror movie. It’s a horror/comedy/sci fi/maybe even parody movie. Which is even better than a horror movie.

I’ve never done a Movies Teach Us on a movie in the theater because it’s hard to take notes while shoveling candy into my mouth in the dark, but here’s what I learned:

• Never trust the gas station attendant. Do the opposite of whatever he says.
• When someone says you’re not on speaker phone, you are.
• The stoner is not paranoid.
• Whores always die first.
• Thor is hot when he’s not a spoiled brat. I’m retracting my previous statement concerning his hotness. He’s now a Cabana Boy candidate.
• Hard-ons are also known as “husband bulges.”
• Unicorns are not your friend.
• Mermen do not look like they do in The Little Mermaid.

Most importantly, I learned that girls who run around in t-shirts and undies are in a horror movie.

 Oh…my…god…I hardly ever wear pants. I wonder if my life is a horror movie. ::looks around for cameras, zombies, and crazed killers::

Jerry the Vampire

I’ve been so focused on preparing for the zombie apocalypse, I’ll be in big trouble if other creatures (like vampires) attack.

As much as I’d like to turn into a beautiful vampire, the sight of blood really freaks me out.

So I watched Fright Night to prepare for a vampire attack. Here’s what I learned from the movie:

• Guns don’t work unless you have all the pieces.
• Boys will wrap Stretch Armstrong around their balls. Ewwww….
• “Jerry” is a vampire name.
  

  You think just because my name is Jerry I can't drain you dry?

• Almost everyone in Las Vegas is a vampire because they sleep during the day and come out at night.

The most shocking thing I learned from Fright Night is…

Brace yourself.

Twilight is not real.

I know. It surprised me, too.