Dear Pod People,
Please return my baby. My perfect little baby who…
- Takes 3-4 45-minute naps a day every 2 or 2.5 hours.
- Sleeps through the night for 10 hours.
- Puts herself back to sleep when she wakes up.
- Sleeps in her crib.
I do not appreciate the pod baby you have left in her place. You see, the pod baby is teething.
Don’t be fooled by the cuteness. This IS a future pod person.
The pod baby you see above is not as easy going as my baby. This pod baby nurses to sleep, wakes up an hour later, must fall back asleep on me, and then wakes up every time she goes back into the crib, so I finally give up and bring the pod baby into Mommy and Daddy’s bed where the pod baby decides every few hours that she must sleep on me, not next to me.
And, of course, I get no sleep because I’m convinced I will either roll on said pod baby or roll over while the baby is on top, which will send the baby onto the floor.
I was willing to take care of the pod baby until my husband and I had this conversation:
Thoughtsy: When does the teething stop?
Kiefer: I think they have all their teeth around 2 years.
So there you have it. Just when I thought sleep was once again mine for the taking, I find out there’s another year and a half of no sleep.
See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Is it possible that there are no coincidences?—Signs
I believe in signs.
I believe there’s a reason I always said, “There’s no way I’m going back to Kiefer…unless he proposes…with a ring…and has tickets to Vegas.” And then…that happened.
I believe there’s a reason Kiefer and I saw this sign in Washington, DC, on a date after he proposed.
Most signs aren’t this clear.
I believe there’s a reason that a week after I said “Yes,” we finally found a new house.
I believe there’s a reason that a couple months after Kiefer’s proposal we got pregnant…and got this cutie pie:
I like putting her in hats that are too big for her. It makes her head look smaller, which makes my nether regions feel better.
Everyone with me now: I believe I can fly…I believe I can touch the sky….
Sorry. My writing made me channel R. Kelly. If you don’t know the song, don’t tell me. It’ll make me feel old.
Do you see signs?
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Those toilets are real time savers though. If you go in with some shampoo, you can squeeze in a quick shower.”—correctionsandclarifications
Last night as I flipped through the TV channels, I almost stopped on Piranhaconda. Almost.
Surely Michael Madsen from Reservoir Dogs wouldn’t lead me astray, right?
Well, I don’t know why I came here tonight….
You got a little something behind your ear. Sit still and lemme get that for you.
After reading that Piranhaconda was a sequel to Sharktopus, I decided I really should watch the movies in order and ended up watching The Sound of Music instead.
Here’s what I learned from the movie:
- A doe is a female deer.
- Carrie Underwood, bless her heart, can sing beautifully, but she can’t act.
- Austrians don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Just jam sandwiches.
- Singing loudly drowns out thunder.
- “I smoke a big cigar” is probably code for something dirty.
- Hills don’t just have eyes, they’re alive.
- Some people don’t like festive wrapping paper. They prefer brown paper packages tied up with strings.
- Vampire Bill Compton can sing.
When you open your mouth to sing, please don’t sound like Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia. Please….
Most importantly, I learned Maria and I have very different favorite things. Who the heck likes copper kettles? I’m totally with her on the crisp apple strudels though.
My song would go something like, “Sprinkles on Pop-Tarts and icing on cupcakes….”
What are your favorite things?