There’s Bacon in My Dessert

You know it’s going to be a good day when you wake up to see any of the following:

• You haven’t overslept.
• Your cat fed itself.
• You’ve won the lottery.
• Your roommates actually cleaned up the pizza box and half eaten slices instead of leaving them sit out all night. (I have a better chance of winning the lottery….)
• Your blog is Freshly Pressed.
• It’s not the zombie apocalypse…yet.
• Yogi Castle, the greatest frozen yogurt place ever, is following you on Twitter.

That’s right: Yogi Castle is following ME on Twitter. Someone there knows all about the Yogi Castle Chronicles.

So every night for the rest of my life one night this week I’ll be celebrating with Yogi Castle’s new flavor:

Okay…so maybe I already celebrated.

Mounds Yogurt, Coconut, Cookie Dough, and Caramel and Vanilla Syrups

And for you weirdos freaks other people who like bacon in your dessert, there’s something for you, too.

Non-Fat Bay-con

—

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “What the hell are Peeps??? I’m Australian, so please use words like “beer” or “ale” and also “lager” to describe the treat.”—Captain Sweatpants

So many of the comments on the last post were hilarious. Also check out Ellie Ann’s, and Laurie’s, Queen Gen’s, and Vesta Vayne’s comment thread, which starts here.

I Said “Just a Bite”

Homonyms: Words with the same pronunciation but different meanings.

Me: Maybe we should watch an adult movie tonight.

Kiefer: What? ::realizing I’ve never suggested watching an “adult movie”:: Really?

Me: Yeah. Like a noncartoon movie since the boys aren’t here.

Kiefer: Oh….

This homonym meant disappointment for Kiefer.

—

Synonyms: Different words with similar meanings.

Me: May I have a bit of your cotton candy bar?

Kiefer: Sure. You can have a bite.

This synonym meant disappointment for me. Because, to me, a “bit” means “half.”

PS: I have 3 words for you concerning cotton candy bars’ tastiness: Cotton. Candy. Crack.

Favorite Comments From Previous Post:

• “What kind of cheap date is a canoe ride in a polluted lake? Where’s the yacht, with the champagne and cheese and strawberries? I’m pretty sure this dream is warning you to keep your standards high.”—Queen Gen
• “Dreaming of Cee Lo and otters has a really interesting interpretation. It means you were a mermaid in a previous life and sort of promiscuous. Shocking, I know.”—Linda Medrano

Chocolate + Coconut = Crack

Good morning, class! Would everyone please take their seats?

Readers, if you’ve learned anything here, I hope it’s these two things:

1. Acceptable Chocolate-to-Fruit Ratio
2. Yummy Food = Crack

The other day Miss Piece of the Piehole sent me a link to a blog with lots of delicious food.

Because of my recent coconut kick, I made The Domestic Rebel’s Almond Joy Blondie Bars. Except I used more chocolate…of course.

Even though the recipes don’t specifically list “crack” as an ingredient, I’m sure it’s in there. Why? Science.

Chemistry 101

I suspect that when certain foods come into contact with each other, a chemical reaction occurs and results in an addictive substance known as crack.

For those of you mathematically inclined, write this equation down. It’s even more important than E = MC².

Chocolate³ + Coconut = Crack

That’s just one example. Here’s another:

When the amount of Cake ≤ the amount of Icing = Crack

Physics 101

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Action: Eating food with crack in it.

Reaction: Eating even more food with crack in it.

Reaction to the Reaction: Expanding thighs.

Favorite Comment from Previous Post: “I vote turbo-slut, but with nerds! You’ll be doing a good deed while getting knocked up and staying disease free! And your kid will probably be a genius, there’s really no downside.”—Cocktails at Tiffanys

Beignets Are Funnel Cakes in Disguise

I went to New Orleans for the beads food.

Initially, I was worried. My picky and sensitive palate might not be able to handle all that Cajunness. I mean, I only recently worked my way up to the Medium salsa.

What if everything was too spicy? What if I had to resort to eating only desserts the entire trip? That would be awful! Waaaaaait…who am I kidding? That would be awesome!

Blarney and I walked to the nearest Sucré in the Garden District.

Confetti "Crack" Cupcake and Coconut "Crack" Chocolate Gelato

It’s not a coincidence that these flavors begin with “C” like “crack.”

Don't be fooled. Green slime on key lime pie is delicious.

Next up…Cafe Du Monde‘s beignets.

Blarney and I were disappointed. They were tasty, but we learned something very important. Just because something is called a doughnut doesn’t mean jelly or custard or something equally tasty is in the middle.

 Beignets = Funnel Cake

I also ate Pralines, Chocolate-Covered Marshmallow Sticks, Baked Alaska, and Triple Chocolate Cake. I’m sorry I don’t have photographic proof, but here’s why:

Thoughtsy: I’ll take one Baked Alaska. Extra chocolate sauce, please.

Guy: Here you go, Baby Doll. (Yes, they actually called me that. And I liked it.)

Thoughtsy: (::taking a bite::) Mmmmmm…. Oh. I should take a picture. (::shrugs and continues eating::) 

Mr. Krabs’s Crabby Melt

A local restaurant is said to have some of the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the United States.

Since I usually only write about desserts on my blog, let me fill you in on my thoughts on grilled cheese:

Who cares?

I can’t even remember the last time I ate grilled cheese. It has been years.

So why bother with grilled cheese from Grilled Cheese and Co? Two reasons.

1. This description from the article: “After you bite into it, the cheese should stretch out past your face as far as your arm will reach.” Mmmmm…cheese.
2. The restaurant is famous for its Crabby Melt grilled cheese. Mmmm…crab.

Crab and cheese together makes crab dip. And that, my blogger friends, is my favorite nondessert food.

This sammich was pretty yum-my. I would definitely go back.

PS: After reading the title, is this SpongeBob Squarepants theme song stuck in your head? It should be.

PPS: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea….

PPPS: I’m off to New Orleans with Blarney, so have a lovely weekend!