In case you didn’t know, my blogger-buddy Misty had a baby. And although I plan to descend upon her and the baby (aka possibly Scout’s future boyfriend) soon, we tried* to squeeze in one more prebaby date.
*The Braxton Hicks decided to trick Misty, so we didn’t meet.
So we were going to meet for frozen yogurt. A dessert fiend and a pregnant lady. Where else would we go? Duh.
As I scoped out the flavors online, I ran across this flavor:
Reeeeeeeeeally. Creamed corn frozen yogurt.
Who decided that was a good idea?
Veggies and dessert do not mix—That comes from someone who claims her PB&J is a fruit because it contains strawberry jelly.
And why does it say it contains milk? It should say, “Contains Corn.”
What’s the funkiest flavor yogurt you’ve tried?
It’s that time of year…the time of year where almost everyone* falls victim to Pumpkin Madness.
*Everyone but me.
Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin scones, pumpkin Oreos, pumpkin Pop-Tarts…. ::shudder::
Oh, Pop-Tarts, why have thou forsaken me?
And is if that’s not enough, now there are pumpkin bagels.
Tell me: When does it all end?
Nevermind. I can answer my own question: When Christmas flavors come into season…which should be any day now since it’s mid-October.
Until recently, I thought I was the sole member of Pop-Tart Addicts Anonymous (PAA). I mean, I’ve been the only one showing up for all the meetings.
We I bring cupcakes or cookies since Pop-Tarts aren’t allowed. Obviously.
Now I see that PAA has other members…but they’re just in denial.
One lady called the police on her son when he stole her Pop-Tarts. Depending on my mood that day, the pre-PAA me would have asked…
- You can do that?
- What flavor were they?
- Was it the last pack?
- Did he leave the empty box there with no shiny silver packs inside?
But thanks to PAA, I can now say…
My stepsons eat my Pop-Tarts all the time. I had to get 3 boxes of the chocolate peanut butter flavor before I even got to try one. Did I call the cops? No.
Another man stole Pop-Tarts from a store, and then a truck hit him while he was making his getaway. He must have been too busy stuffing his face to look both ways before crossing the street.
Unless…the person driving the truck saw the Pop-Tarts, and overcome by Pop-Tart addiction, ran the thief over so the driver could have the Pop-Tarts all to himself.
Looks like three new members will be joining the next PAA meeting. I’d better bring extra cookies.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “If that ends up being your baby, Keifer is gonna have some explaining to do.”—Misty’s Laws
The other day I was researching the effects Pop-Tarts might have on my unborn child. I was hoping to find things like:
- For blue eyes, eat blueberry Pop-Tarts.
- For brown eyes, eat smore Pop-Tarts.
- For a baby girl, eat cherry Pop-Tarts.
- For freckles, eat sprinkled Pop-Tarts.
- To cure morning sickness, eat Pop-Tarts at every meal.
Apparently, no research has been done on any of that. Obviously, our economy is still going downhill if important Pop-Tart experiments aren’t being performed.
What I did stumble across was this. A Pop-Tart-hater site.
If this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
This site claims the following:
- The frosting is made from either the blood of a virgin or the saliva of the three-headed canine guardian of Hell’s gate, Cerberus.
- The main ingredient is evil.
- They are usually sold in pairs inside packages made of human flesh.
- If left out after heating, Pop-Tarts take on a very dense and hardened form, making them very convenient for use as crude bladed weapons, or as throwing stars.
Most importantly, frosted Pop-Tarts are not suitable for vegetarians, as they contain gelatin.
Lies! Lies, I tell you! All of this is mere propaganda probably spread by the folks at Toaster Strudel.
I’m onto you, you Strudel-de-doos. I’m onto you….
Haters gonna hate.
Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Wait a minute. No sober person has ever eaten a pickled egg…except now, you, pregnant, eat pickled eggs. Soooooo…pickled eggs where drunk people and pregnant people intersect, but they aren’t allowed to be the same people. I made a really cool Venn Diagram to illustrate this, but I can’t save it.”—Omawarisan