Category Archives: Animals

Tea Party or Plan to Take Over the World?

About a month ago, Scout started rice cereal. The other day while I was mixing it up, someone stole my seat.

teaparty

“Move your meat, lose your seat.”

I have no idea what they were talking about, but I’m pretty sure it can’t be good. Esme Kitty is…well…evil a bad influence.

I hope Esme wasn’t trying to corrupt Scout’s innocent little mind.

What do you think Esme told Scout?

  • A. Throw me all of your food, ok? Forget about the dog.
  • B. If you promise not to grab my tail, I promise not to scratch you. Maybe.
  • C. We’re the smallest people in this house, we have to stick together.
  • D. It’s fun to trip Mommy. Don’t worry, she likes it. She also likes it when we attack her ankles.
  • E. Other

Note: Starting Monday, thoughtsappear.com changes back to thoughtsappear.wordpress.com.


Where’s the Kitty?

Ozzy Pups and Esme Kitty like to play hide and seek.

Only…they’re not very good at it.

Ozzy likes to look in all the logical places Esme might be: like her cat carrier.

Ozzycarrier

Or maybe he’s trying to hide here. I’m not really clear who is hiding and who is seeking.

Esme, on the other hand, prefers to try to squeeze into places she can’t fit.

Drawer Kitty

“If you had less clothes, I would totally fit in here.”

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “Luckily our dog that chases things is terribly inept at it and wouldn’t know what to do if he caught anything. The other likes to only eat already dead things. We’re so lucky and blessed!”—The Cannibalistic Nerd


My Dog Ate Your Bird. Oops.

Last week I blogged about the downside to being a stay-at-home mom, which is killing bugs yourself instead of having your husband do it.

There is another downside: dealing with birds.

Ozzy Pups caught a bird in our backyard. It was only a matter of time before this happened.* He’s fast, jumps high, and our neighbors feed all the birds and squirrels constantly so they’re fat and slow.

*Ozzy may have killed a squirrel last summer, but because I didn’t actually see it happen, I just tell myself the squirrel fell from a tree, the fall killed it, and Ozzy just found him.

A wounded, bleeding bird was in my backyard.

I swear the bird looked exactly like this. Book and all.

I should have celebrated and chalked up a point for me in the war against birds, but instead, I felt bad for it.

So what did I do?

I called Kiefer so he could come home and kill it.*

*To put it out of its misery, not because I hate birds.

He refused. So I gave the bird some water and kept Ozzy inside to save the bird from further torment.

Two hours later, the bird flew away.

*I’m not sure how because I’m pretty sure there were more feathers in the yard than on the bird.

Three hours later, my car was covered in bird poo. Coincidence? I think not.


Stay-At-Home Mom Battles Bugs and Wins!

Scout is just over 3 months old, and I love staying home to take care of her and soak up as much of her cuteness as possible.

But being at home also stinks.

Here’s why:

Bugs

I hate bugs. All of them. And last week they teamed up on me.

Never have I ever been stung by a bee, so I’m especially scared of them because I am terrified by the unknown.

I mean, look at childbirth. I’d never been through that before and that was awful. I’m sure bee stings are equally as awful.

So the bee is buzzing around the kitchen window.

I wish the bee looked this friendly.

I decided to grab some paper towels to wrap around my hand to protect it, so I could reach next to the bee to unlatch and open the window.

One problem. There was a spider on the paper towels.

Seriously? Seriously.

A bee and a spider? At the same time. Life is so unfair.

I’ve read Scary Stores to Tell in the Dark, and I know what happens when spiders bite you. This:

So I had a choice to make: bee sting or spider bite.

I decided to take on the bee sans paper towel shield. Luckily, the bee flew out the window without a stinging incident.

Then I ripped off the paper towel and dropped it in the trash and took it outside.

But that’s the downside to being a stay-at-home mom. You have to risk your life to take care of the creepy crawlies yourself.


This Is How My Dog Learned to Eat Shoes

Remember back at the beginning of pregnancy when I complained about constantly having to buy bigger bras?

Yeaaaaaah…I had to do that again. But that’s not what this post is about.

The last couple weeks of pregnancy those troubles traveled south. Way south…to my feet.

As in my feet were swollen, not that my boobs were so huge that they touched the floor.

One day I walked around the office in little black bootie/ballet socks and praying that no one would realize I wasn’t wearing shoes. After that, I stole Kiefer’s PF Flyers and wore those to work. Since they’re all black, no one noticed I was wearing sneakers.

My ankles were nearly nonexistent, and every pair of shoes I owned (including the new bigger and wider ones I just bought) were pinching my feet.

I cursed myself for giving Ozzy the most recent shoe box so I couldn’t return the new shoes.

Everyone always posts pictures of cats and boxes, but no one posts about dogs and boxes. In case you were wondering what dogs do with boxes, let me put your mind at rest.

Step 1. Inspect the box for any strange odors.

sniff

Step 2. Determine if the box contained food…or is food.

durability

Step 3. Taunt the cat with the new toy box.

showtocat

Step 4. Determine if the box is indestructible.

test

Step 5. Destroy the box…but look cute while doing it.

eatthebox

Favorite Comment From Last Post: “My life with a newborn was very similar. We put our daughter in the crib the first night and then told her how to work the TV remote and to help herself to anything in the fridge if she woke before us. We were very surprised when she was up….15 minutes later.”—The Waiting


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 10,074 other followers