Good morning, class! Would everyone please take their seats?
Readers, if you’ve learned anything here, I hope it’s these two things:
- Acceptable Chocolate-to-Fruit Ratio
- Yummy Food = Crack
The other day Miss Piece of the Piehole sent me a link to a blog with lots of delicious food.
Because of my recent coconut kick, I made The Domestic Rebel’s Almond Joy Blondie Bars. Except I used more chocolate…of course.
Even though the recipes don’t specifically list “crack” as an ingredient, I’m sure it’s in there. Why? Science.
I suspect that when certain foods come into contact with each other, a chemical reaction occurs and results in an addictive substance known as crack.
For those of you mathematically inclined, write this equation down. It’s even more important than E = MC².
Chocolate³ + Coconut = Crack
That’s just one example. Here’s another:
When the amount of Cake ≤ the amount of Icing = Crack
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Action: Eating food with crack in it.
Reaction: Eating even more food with crack in it.
Reaction to the Reaction: Expanding thighs.
Favorite Comment from Previous Post: “I vote turbo-slut, but with nerds! You’ll be doing a good deed while getting knocked up and staying disease free! And your kid will probably be a genius, there’s really no downside.”—Cocktails at Tiffanys