Remember when the Russian Mafia killed that poor guy because I didn’t click on his link? I still feel bad about that, so I periodically check my SPAM comments.
Random Act of Kindness for the Day: Check your SPAM comments. It may save a life…in particular, the life of a man kidnapped by the Russian mafia and subjected to penis enlargement.
Here are some entertaining SPAM comments I found recently:
I would name your blog The Dreamland! While Santa knocks at our door just once per year, your blog is open the whole year – wow!
Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend.
Wow, that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment, but after I clicked “Submit,” my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr…well, I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say wonderful blog!
Dude, that sucks. I’m sorry your comment was marked as SPAM. Wait…your website is f*ckbuddy.com? And your email address is tollfree@gmail.com? Hmmmm…that’s suspicious.
If I press my hand against my eye, the afterimage looks like the floating Great Pumpkin Moon on Halloween.
Riiiiiiiight….
Then after about 5 minutes I cleaned up the poo and went to let Bear in, got both dogs on their leashes, and took them outside.
Why did you wait 5 minutes to clean up the poo? And I don’t have any dogs, but I’m pretty sure the order is this:
- Let the dogs outside.
- Then they poo.
- Then let them back inside.
Can anyone confirm the order of the dog potty steps?
February 24th, 2012 at 8:56 am
I can’t. I can’t stand spam comments. Most of mine are 500 words… in another language. I want to know how these weasels post comments without ever visiting the post in which they’re posting to.
February 27th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I usually get a headache reading most of the comments.
February 24th, 2012 at 8:56 am
Too funny!!! I haven’t checked mine in a while, guess I’d better. Ugh!
February 24th, 2012 at 9:14 am
Oooh, now I wanna do this, too. I usually just delete them, but there have been some interesting ones in the past. I will have to keep an eye out for some fun ones and then blatently steal this idea from you. Cool?
Have a great weekend! Oh, and I got the card. Thanks!
February 27th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I know you got the card…because I’m stalking you, remember?
February 24th, 2012 at 9:25 am
Is the dog poo thing a metaphor?
For spam perhaps?
February 24th, 2012 at 9:45 am
I feel left out!! I’ve never had a spam comment!
February 24th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Dumb spam bots…..and yet one day our world will be ruled by them.
February 24th, 2012 at 10:12 am
I got one the other day that told me he usually enjoyed my blog, but my content wasn’t up to par lately and thought I should know…all sorts of grammatical errors etc…gotta’ love those!
February 24th, 2012 at 10:24 am
I get those ALL THE TIME. I’m glad I’m not the only one that spammer is being mean to.
February 24th, 2012 at 10:21 am
in response to the title,
defibrillation works pretty well… time to time…
February 24th, 2012 at 10:23 am
I’m not gonna lie. I was pretty disappointed to disover that Al from sexysingles.com was a SPAM-bot and not a truly devoted reader. I think we really could have been great friends
February 27th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I’d be disappointed, too.
February 24th, 2012 at 10:29 am
You inspired me to check my spam folder. I found one legitimate comment, from the terrific Good Greatsby (thegoodgreatsby.com) and a bunch of comments by people who seem to speak English not as a second language but as a random combination of words.
My 2 favorite spam messages:
“Οδηγία 2006/38/ΕΚ, ΑÏθÏο 1, παÏάγÏαφος 1, στοιχείο α:”
“Well done, Don!” (My name is Todd.)
February 27th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Bwahahahaha! Good one, Don!
February 24th, 2012 at 10:45 am
I finally checked the Spam folder, thanks to you. Highly amusing! It’s amazing how enterprising some peeps are.
February 24th, 2012 at 11:36 am
I check mine semi-regularly, because every so often a real comment gets stuck there (I felt bad the time I found a two-week-old comment from someone who was new to my blog).
The spammers are getting creative. I’ve been getting a bunch of spam lately that seems to be constructed by stringing together sentences from other people’s comments.
February 24th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
February 24th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
I am so jealous. I never get spam.
February 24th, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Hey lady….
please don’t send Esme after me but I might have given you a blogging assignment.
See my blog for today.
February 24th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
This is absolutely wonderful! I can see you are still hard at it. I always love reading your posts. Don’t ever stop!
February 27th, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Glad to see you back!
February 24th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
I’ve noticed that I skip right over the spam comments that say my blog is wonderful, but I take to heart the ones that offer criticism, such as “You have a great concept here, but you need more pictures. I can help with that. Please see my site at http://www.iwilltakeallyourmoney.com .”
I know it’s a spambot, but I still wonder if there’s a kernel of truth buried in it.
February 24th, 2012 at 5:42 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha – dude your spam is hilarious
I got a proposal once from this ‘prince’ – wow am I glad I didn’t except
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
February 25th, 2012 at 12:47 am
ahahaa i thought you were referencing the fray with your title. iunnno why but recently i just can’t get enough of their music!
oh my goodness, i guess i should actually check my spam before i delete =/
February 25th, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Oh spam…gotta love it!!
February 25th, 2012 at 8:44 pm
My spam comments are out of control lately. I think I was excited about the first spam comment I got like…three years ago because I knew at least the bots could find my blog. Hahaha, right? Now? It drives me mad. And the fact that the spammers have taken to Twitter is enough to drive a girl batty.
February 26th, 2012 at 8:38 am
It makes total sense that these messages were named after a discusting luncheon meat. Heh.
February 26th, 2012 at 10:18 am
I got one of those guys killed by the Russian Mafia too once. I used to get the most amazing spam held in the spam filter at work, but then they seemed to have managed to filter it out completely, which was a total letdown. I once did a whole series of posts about it, but I never get decent spam anymore. (“Decent spam” is probably a bit of an oxymoron anyway.)
February 26th, 2012 at 11:54 am
Wow, your spam comments are especially amazing! Why am I not surprised?
February 27th, 2012 at 5:34 am
The last one is hilarious! Someone really hasn’t understood the concept of letting the dogs out…
How come I never get spam comments like these?
February 27th, 2012 at 7:30 am
I’m a reader of Tom Baker’s blog and I stopped by to see your blog. This post is amusing but since I don’t blog myself, the only spam I get is email and that is a pain too. I’m looking forward to your guest post.
I love the kitten in the Pop Tarts box. Very cute.
February 27th, 2012 at 11:46 am
I am inspired. And off to read my spam.
February 27th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I have a dog, and yes – those are indeed the steps.
1. dog goes outside to poop
2. dog can stay out as long as he wants
3. dog is allowed back in when pooping is finished
4. screwing with step #1 leads to a lot more step #2
My favorite spam comment of late:
“Dude, your posts are usually pretty good, but this one is crap. Just keepin’ it real. I’m happy to give you some advice at …”
Seriously? Howz about you visit http://www.whywoulditakeadvicefromyouafteryouinsultme&calledmedude.com
Just keepin’ it real.