Hot Air Hangs Like a Dead Man From a White Oak Tree

Initially, I was caught up in the Twilight book hype.

Then the movies started coming out, and I lost interest…but I still see the movies because I’m still extremely interested in Taylor Lautner becoming my Cabana boy.

But now I’m returning to my roots. To a movie about vampires who…

• Can’t resist the taste of blood.
• Can’t survive sunlight.
• Will eat you.

And most importantly, vampires who do not flippin’ sparkle. Sparkle? Seriously?

Vampires look like this:

I vant to suck your blooooood....

I watched From Dusk Till Dawn. Here are some of my thoughts:

• Young George Clooney. Le sigh.
• They stopped at a gas station for a map? Whoa…this movie is old.
• Quentin Tarantino movies always have amazing soundtracks. That song in the post title is stuck in my head.
• Salma Hayek is a vampire stripper.
• I thought Cheech was typecast, but he can also portray a vampire/Border guard/pimp/criminal.
• Don’t judge someone whose name is “Sex Machine.” He’s on your side…until he becomes a vampire.
• In 1996, people said, “hunky dory.” Let’s bring that back.

But the most important thing that I learned is that if you’re defenseless against vampires, a pencil to the heart works just as well as a wooden stake.

Do you think it has to be a #2 pencil?