Maybe Freddy Krueger Wasn’t So Bad

Have you ever watched a movie that made you question everything? (Is that too X-Filey?)

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is that movie. It will change your life. Never again will you be able to watch a horror movie without wondering…

• Maybe that guy in the mask is just covering a zit.
• Maybe that guy running his hook hand along the side of your car is really just trying to wash your windows for some extra cash.
• Maybe Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers were completely misunderstood.

The movie is about a group of college kids who assume two country hicks are killers. Assume. We all know what that means.

This isn't what it looks like.... Let me explain.

And then the college kids die because they’re accident-prone. Like my dad always said, “Accidents don’t just happen, they’re caused…by stupid assuming college kids.”

Here’s what I learned from the movie:

• When you’re hitting on someone, put away the scythe.
• That guy with the chainsaw isn’t chasing you, he’s running from bees.
• Using an ax to carve “We’ve got your friend” into some wood isn’t the best way to communicate.
• When someone says, “I’m beating the crap outta her,” he means at board games.
• Bones in a house mean the previous owner was an archaelogist.
• If the woman wearing stripper heels is still alive, you’re not in any real danger. Normally, she’d be the first to go.

This movie taught me so much: Things aren’t always what they seem. Don’t stereotype. Don’t jump to conclusions. And most importantly, Don’t run with a spear; you’ll stab yourself.

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