Pumpkins Will One Day Rule the World

It’s that time of year…the time of year where almost everyone* falls victim to Pumpkin Madness.

*Everyone but me.

Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin scones, pumpkin Oreos, pumpkin Pop-Tarts…. ::shudder::

Poptarts

Oh, Pop-Tarts, why have thou forsaken me?

And is if that’s not enough, now there are pumpkin bagels.

Bagels

Tell me: When does it all end?

Nevermind. I can answer my own question: When Christmas flavors come into season…which should be any day now since it’s mid-October.


It’s Rex Manning Day!

I’m declaring today the official Rex Manning Day.  I can do that. I have that authority.

Now we just have to get the President to declare it a Federal holiday. Please sign the petition by commenting below.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about (::head shaking at you, not with you::)…educate yourselves! Watch Empire Records…since my blog is named after that movie. But if you don’t have that kind of time, at the very least, watch the Rex Manning video.

Please celebrate by saying or doing one or more of the following:

  • The fat man walks alone.
  • Glue quarters to the floor.
  • The time to hesitate is through.
  • Carry around a couch cushion.
  • Leave a red bra on the table of a restaurant.
  • What’s with today today?

Happy Rex Manning Day!


Out with the Starbucks Mermaid!

Starbucks

Hi Starbucks,

My name is Scout, and I should be your new spokesperson. You can pay Mom me in tall-non-fat-vanilla-bean-frappuccinos-with-a-shot-of-cinnamon-dolce-syrup.

Sincerely,

Scout


I Knew It…Even Babies Hate Pumpkins

It’s that time of year. Pumpkin flavor has returned.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Have you seen the 16 Reasons You Should Never Reenact Pinterest Photos?

There’s a special section on pumpkins (ick!) and babies (awwww!).

Never will I ever put Scout in a pumpkin. Here’s why:

These poor, poor babies. Not one of them looks happy. They’re all crying except for the third one from the top, but I think that’s only because he was put in last, and he’s still a little dazed.

Or he has an escape plan.

So remember this picture the next time you see a pumpkin.

Just say no.


Oh Where, Oh Where Can My Baby Be?

Dear Pod People,

Please return my baby. My perfect little baby who…

  • Takes 3-4 45-minute naps a day every 2 or 2.5 hours.
  • Sleeps through the night for 10 hours.
  • Puts herself back to sleep when she wakes up.
  • Sleeps in her crib.

I do not appreciate the pod baby you have left in her place. You see, the pod baby is teething.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness. This IS a future pod person.

Don’t be fooled by the cuteness. This IS a future pod person.

The pod baby you see above is not as easy going as my baby. This pod baby nurses to sleep, wakes up an hour later, must fall back asleep on me, and then wakes up every time she goes back into the crib, so I finally give up and bring the pod baby into Mommy and Daddy’s bed where the pod baby decides every few hours that she must sleep on me, not next to me.

And, of course, I get no sleep because I’m convinced I will either roll on said pod baby or roll over while the baby is on top, which will send the baby onto the floor.

I was willing to take care of the pod baby until my husband and I had this conversation:

Thoughtsy: When does the teething stop?

Kiefer: I think they have all their teeth around 2 years.

Thoughtsy: NOOOOOOOOOO!

So there you have it. Just when I thought sleep was once again mine for the taking, I find out there’s another year and a half of no sleep.

Faaaaaantastic.


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